Exactly thirteen years ago today I lost my dad. There still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him.
He liked to enjoy a scotch at the end of the day so this time every year I pour myself a glass. This year I think I am finally grown up enough to actually enjoy it. I used to have to choke it down. This year, I'm even looking forward to having another one tonight.
Today is also my Mommy's 65th birthday.
Happy Birthday Mom.
She's throwing herself a big party this weekend to celebrate. I do wish I could've made it home, but I'm saving up for a Christmas visit in a few years. The kids are going to love having Christmas in the snow!
I talked to her on the phone this morning and something she said got me to thinking. She said that it wasn't all that long ago, she thought 65 was old. I'm sure that when I was in my twenties...yes I admit I'm older than that, I must have thought someone in their sixties was getting up there, but I don't remember thinking they were old. So how old is old? I can't put my finger on a specific age. Some eighty year old's act as though they are still in their thirties and definitely know people in their thirties and forties behaving as though they're knocking on Death's door. I do know sickness puts a different spin on things, but I'm talking about healthy individuals.
I suppose I'm blessed with having the people around me that I do. A lot of my friends are older than me, one of my best friends is closer to my mother's age than mine, but I don't consider her old. I think we are as old as we want to be.
Ok, I admit that sounds corny and full of 'new-age beliefs', but hear me out. Although the number of years you've been alive dictates how old you are, it doesn't mean you have to behave like society deem that age should act. We are as old as we want to be. Someday's I'm eighteen and someday's I'm eighty. It all depends on my mood...and usually what I've been eating. Bread and grains usually make me feel rundown and tired, but that's another story.
My mom came all the way down to New Zealand last year for the book launch of my very first book, Debutantes Don't Date. I still don't think she knows how much this really meant to me. I have told her, of course, but somethings just can't be conveyed into words.
It was so wonderful to have her here while I was celebrating something I never expected to happen. And, I so enjoyed her being here when I didn't have a newborn, which has been her usual reason to come all this way. We were able to 'hang out' and talk and celebrate without me having to stop to breastfeed or change shitty nappies. :)
So Mom, today I want to say Thank You for being my Mom. You're the very best one I could ever ask for. And although I can't be there for your birthday, know I'm standing next to you in spirit anyway.
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